Think about It Thursday!

A couple of years ago a followed a blog that did a Wee Bit about Me Wednesday.  The blog doesn't exist anymore and Throwback Thursday doesn't really do anything for me...so I thought maybe Think about It Thursday might work!

I often think about how different my life would have been if we would have had a regular childhood.  My parents spent countless hours and miles on the road traveling for my brother's cancer treatments.  He is alive today which makes it all worth it...but what if he hadn't been sick. 

1. Would we have traveled the world?
2. Would my younger prettier sister have been born?
3. Would we have stayed in the same small town?
4. Would my parents still be married?
5. Where would I be today?

I often think about these things and wonder about the "what ifs?"  If not for all the things that have happened in the past, I wouldn't be the woman I am today nor would I be where I am.  I may never have had the opportunity to tour Toronto as much as we did.  I've been to China Town, ridden the Subway, attended the CNE and one birthday I got a CHUM FM t-shirt. 

I remember wanting so badly to go to the CNE (Canadian National Exhibition).  My brother said he didn't want to go to some stupid shopping mall.  He was surprised that we weren't shopping.  We rode the subway and streetcar and spent the day.  I've only been once....I guess it's soon time to take our kids.

I was able to go through the Eaton's Center with Dad, he took me to China Town where I got to see dead chickens hanging in storefronts. I was appalled at that...I was just a kid.

I wonder if my sister would even exist?  Would I have the confidant that I have now.  I can't imagine what life would be like without her.  I know I'd still be Mom's favorite! But who would I coaster ride with, shop with, complain to, laugh at(kidding) with?

I need to learn to live by that!

I wonder what next Thursday will bring?  Maybe more on this....Who knows?

Dollar Store Craft Fun!

Jo has a tournament this weekend so I thought I'd make a gift for each of her coaches.  I used some dollar store items and here is the list

1. Glass Mugs from the Dollar Store
2. Printed Paper
3. 1 inch Circle Paper Punch
4. Modge Podge
5. Nail Polish
6. Resin

Completed Mugs

Inside Shot

 

Close Up

The first thing I did was take the logo off the net and printed it on the laser printer.  If you are printing on an inkjet be sure to seal your print first.  I used Modge Podge to put the print on the bottom of the mug and left if to dry.  I then started playing with Nail Polish to create the back ground.  I left it all to dry over night and then sealed it all with Envirotex Resin.  I'm hoping the coaches like them and now the family here wants a set!

New Year....Back to Blogging??

It has been forever since I have posted anything.  I had actually started a new blog, but that has fallen by the wayside and I thought I'd start working on this blog again.

Since my last post there have been a few changes!

1. My chef and I are still together and happy!
2. His youngest son has moved with us
3. My Jo has turned 10
4. My "new" boy is 13
5. I'm still working
6. I haven't picked up a camera seriously in ages
7. I'm back to making beaded items
8. New meds have been added

I am now on Abilify added to Pristiq and Wellbutrin.  Depression seriously sucks these days.

I am leaning all about the Austism Spectrum.  The boy has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS among other lettered conditions.  He is the most lovable happy boy ever....until he doesn't get his way and even then it's hard to stay mad at him.  He is playing on the school hockey team and he hopes to play football in the fall as well as get onto a hockey team.

Jo is loving ringette and is now the goalie!  She's a natural and I love to watch her in the net.

I'll update more about my depression and all the other goings on in life soon!  I promise to blog more and more in the coming weeks!

Wordless Wednesday

Jo, My Chef and his son! 

Wordless Wednesday

Ten on Tuesday

Ten on Tuesday today is all about Strawberries!  Favorite ways to eat them!

Valentine's Day Treat made By Jo and our Chef!

1. Right off the plants.  Nothing better!
2. Dipped in white sugar
3. Sliced and sprinkled with sugar and they make their own syrup
4. In a tart with custard
5. Strawberry Shortcake
6. On ice cream
7. Strawberry Jam
8. Dipped and drizzled in chocolate
9. Whipped Cream for dipping
10. In a spinach salad

Wanna play along?  Sign up here! Carole always comes up with great ideas that really gets your mind thinking!!
Thanks to Carole Knits for getting this organized every week!

Picture Post

Not the greatest lightening shot, but it's my first one!

Night time at my chef''s moms farm

Sliver of a moon

Sunrise on the farm

Bed of nails!

Little Miss Flexible

Dealing with the Break Up

It will soon be a year since we officially separated.  It seems that there are some people in my life that are dealing with this much better than others.  I have adjusted well as has Jo and things are working great with the "weekabout" arrangement that we have for custody.  Her dad and I are still very amicable and are able to work out any kinks that may arise during our respective weeks.  I know I am a much better parent than I was in the past.  We actually played hooky the other day.  She stayed home from school, I stayed home from work and we baked, tidied and we dropped the truck off for my chef (whole other blog post with pictures!) and took the city bus home.  She was absolutely thrilled!  She stood the entire ride.  Something they aren't allowed to do on the school bus.

So hard to believe that my baby is going to be 9! 

Now, as for my sleepless nights.  As I have mentioned before I was married to an alcoholic.  Some of my family has been less than supportive about the fact that I finally left the marriage.  He was never physically abusive, bills were always paid, he always went to work but playing second fiddle to a bottle of beer got really tired for me.  He was always a happy drinker, never got into fights, he just got loud and stupid.  He was always the fun drunk and never really got into much trouble.  What people didn't see was the embarrassment that I felt.  We would be having a conversation with people and I would be talking and he would interrupt.  He said inappropriate things to people, think he was being funny and wasn't.  Things that were said to me that not everybody heard.  I don't think Tuesday night is a reason to get drunk.  This isn't a frat party and we aren't 21 anymore.  The garage was the place to be and most days I dreaded him coming home and having a  beer in the garage because one beer always turned into more and as soon as some of the people in the neighborhood saw the garage open, it was like an open invitation to come and join him.   Supper would be ready and he wouldn't come into eat until he was done drinking.  He always said that a 50 cent hamburger would ruin and 50 dollar drunk.    When he arrived home from work he went to the garage first, got a beer and then came into the house.  If I didn't hear him pull in the driveway I might not even know that he was home. 

One of my siblings is very bitter and won't speak to me.  He hides behind his nasty comments on Facebook and take my calls or answer any text messages.  Exhubby has even tried to discuss it with him and he won't hear any of it.  It's really very sad.  I am happy and enjoying my life and for whatever reason he won't even try to listen to me.  We were very close at one time and it's killing me that he is being like this.  I even had a dream this morning about meeting up with him and trying to tell him my side of the story.  This has been keeping me awake at night and consuming my thoughts.  If anyone has any ideas on how to handle this....let me know!!!

Up next!  I just might do a picture post!!

It has been forever!!

There has been so many changes and so much happening that I've neglected my blog.  I often have ideas running through my head and just can't find the time to get them posted.

I should start with a depression update.  I am medication free!!  I was on Wellbutrin and Pristiq.  Weaning off of them was uncomfortable and lasted almost a month, but it has been 5 months now and I am feeling great.  I very seldom use sleeping pills and when I do it's just a half to shut my mind off enough to fall asleep.  Life after antidepressants in wonderful!  It is very different to feel emotion.  If I am having a teary day I wonder if I shouldn't be back on my meds and then I realize that it is normal to have days like that.  After so many years it is nice to feel the emotion and not just go through the motions!!!

I plan to do regular updates again!  There are some things going on that are keeping my awake at night and I'm thinking that if I get them in print it might help!!

Ten on Tuesday

Believe it or not....Here's a Ten on Tuesday!

Ten things in my purse....

1. My wallet...it's my life..everything is in there
2. Pills
3. Money
4. Nail File
5. Lighter
6. Gum
7. Floss Picks
8. Nail Polish
9. Passports
10. Business Cards

Wanna play along?  Sign up here! Carole always comes up with great ideas that really gets your mind thinking!!
Thanks to Carole Knits for getting this organized every week!

Kelly Moore Camera Bag Giveaway at Organized Chaos

It has been ages since I have actually taken out my camera.  With everything going on my camera is the last thing that I have had the energy to do is take pictures.  Over the summer I took very few photos and now that I've upgraded my phone to an iPhone I find myself using that more than anything.

I was over at My Organized Chaos and there is a Great Giveaway for a Kelly Moore Stylish Camera Bag.  There are some really great ones and I might be inclined to carry my camera around more if I had this Libby Bag in Sapphire.

Head over and have a look!!

What is your favorite bag??

Back to Blogging!

It has been a few months since I have sat down and actually blogged about anything.  I have to apologize for that.  There have been so many changes since I last blogged that I really don't know where to start.

When I started this blog and came up with the title I had a some idea where I wanted life to take me.  I have started on that journey and will update all of the changes over the next little bit.

In my last post back in August I mentioned that I was returning to work.  That has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made in a long time.  I am working full time and loving every minute of it.  I returned to an old employer and have settled back into selling furniture.  I absolutely love it!!  When I emailed my old boss and asked about returning he sent me a one word reply and that one word was "Absolutely".  It has been awesome to work in a company where your work is rewarded with high fives when sales are good and you are given encouragement along the way.  Looking back I have to wonder if I should have returned years ago instead of taking the office job that partially contributed to my depression worsening.  Hindsight is 20/20 so they say. 

During my stay on the Island this past summer I made many decisions.  One was returning to work and the other was to end my marriage.  We have had many issues in the past and I realized over the last year that when we were apart I was a much happier person.  I don't know if I have ever mentioned that I am married to an alcoholic.  Although he never misses a day of work and the bills are always paid he is an alcoholic just the same.  I can live with a beer after work, but 48+ bottles of beer bought weekly just is too much.  In August Jo was away for a few nights and we finally sat down and talked it out.  I suppose I talked and he listened.  He promised to quit drinking and so far he has, but it's too little too late.  He has not had a drink that I'm aware of since August 29th.  This is not the first time he has quit and he might really mean it this time, but I am done.  I cannot live with the thought that he might start again.  He does know that if he does start again that his access to Jo will be severely limited.  We have come up with a joint custody agreement and that will be pulled from him if his sobriety doesn't last.  He is a wonderful father and we both want what's best for Jo and in his words he said that he has already lost too much and will do everything he can to keep Jo.  There of course is more to our separation than just the alcohol, but that is the main reason.  I have stayed this long because of our child, but we are doing her no favors by staying together for no other reason than her.

It has taken me many years to find the courage to leave.  We separated in 2000 and then we were just about to separate when we found out about Jo.  I returned to work when she was 2 with the intention of leaving then, but didn't have the self confidence to go.  Life was simper to stay, easier.... Self esteem and self confidence have become part of me and I'm on my way!

Life...It's a Work in Progress

Stay tuned....it's progressing!!!

An update!

I have been crazy busy for the last little bit and blogging from my BlackBerry is just a pain.  The buttons are just too small!

Jo and I spent a week together without Hubby and went to Manitoulin Island and then to our trailer for a few days!  It was an amazing week. 
Highlights!!

• Jo was able to have an awesome time with all the kids on the Island
• She went fishing and caught a Bast (bass) that jumped into the boat on her line
• She went to Bridal Veil Falls and had a great time
• I got to tour part of the Island on a motorcycle.  I haven't been on one since highschool and aside from the burn from the exhaust pipe on my leg it was awesome
• I got to spend time with some near and dear friends
• I finally got to meet Chrissy from Random Thoughts and Musings from the Island and had a wonderful lunch with her!  We have known each other online for years and live a mere 2 hours from each other!
• Maya was able to run free and got along with all the other dogs!!

The Island is a wonderful place and it seems that things just get clearer in your mind while you are there.  I made the decision to return to work this fall and will be starting a job in a furniture store in mid September.  I am thrilled about starting and will give more details when I have them.

I am off and running for today, I have a million things to do and there just aren't enough hours in the day!!!

On Vacation!!

Just a quick note! I'm still here enjoying some time at camp with no internet and bad cell service. Kids are having a great time as am I!!
I will be bacl to proper blogging as soon as we have a rainy day!!

Rambling this Morning

I have a couple of ideas running through my head.  They have been there for the last few days, I'm just not sure how to get them into words to write about them.  One of the titles I thought of was "Am I Just too Sensitive?" I think sometimes I am.  

Why do I think I'm too sensitive?? Here's a little background and some of the story.

Before hubby and I met, he was in a common law relationship that lasted 7 or 8 years.  She wasn't very nice when they separated and he ended up losing his shirt while she walked away with everything she wanted.  I met hubby just as their house was being sold and once that chapter was finished we started out own life together.  Over the years, we have seen her and her hubby at various places, sat and had a drink with them and hubby even did a bunch of work for her when they added on to their home years ago.  When hubby's niece was pregnant with her first child, I invited the his ex to the shower that I hosted here in my home.  Regardless of what happened in the past, she is still thought of as an aunt to some of the kids in the family and I have no problem with that. There are divorced aunts and uncles in my family that are still considered family.   Sometimes when hubby's brother and wife come to town they stay at her house.  The fact that they stay there normally doesn't bother me except for this last visit.  After our day in Tobermory we spent the weekend at camp and on Sunday we came home.  Hubby's brother and wife had come here and off loaded their quad and had gone blueberry picking.  When they got back here they proceeded to leave the quad here, charge the battery with our hydro and leave their gear in the garage and then left.  Monday morning they arrive back here and get ready to take off to go berry picking again.  They unplug the charger and leave it laying in the driveway, leave a patch of oil on the asphalt driveway and take off.  Hubby comes home and is livid with the mess that was left here and wonders why they couldn't have left the mess at her place.  His feelings are hurt which in turn bothers me.  That night his brother shows up to get his truck and ramps and doesn't even come in to say hello to anyone.  Hubby is feeling hurt again.

Tuesday night they stop in to say goodbye and I make a comment about the mess that was left and it gets laughed off.  Hubby won't even tell his brother that he is pissed off.  We say our good byes and they are gone.


I probably shouldn't let stuff like this bother me, but I do.  When they said they were coming to visit I was told that they had made other arrangements to stay elsewhere.  They couldn't even come right out and tell me where they were staying.

I wonder sometimes if not for my depression that these kinds of things would just roll of my back and not bother me.  Then I think that maybe it really does bother me and the depression has nothing to do with it.

What do you think??? Am I too sensitive??

Macro Mania

This is my favorite time of year for taking photos!  When I grow up, I'm gonna get an actual Macro lens for my Canon, but for now my little Lumix rocks!!

Ten on Tuesday

The Ten on Tuesday topic for this week is 10 Favorite Herbs. Fresh or dried, you decide!

1. Garlic
2. Basil
3. Oregano
4. Rosemary
5. Chives
6. Sage
7. Thyme
8. Parsley
9. Dill
10. Mint
    

Wanna play along?  Sign up here! Carole always comes up with great ideas that really gets your mind thinking!!
Thanks to Carole Knits for getting this organized every week!

Weekend Recap

The weather was perfect!  The company was perfect!  We had a great time.  The only thing I would have done differently would have been to take a sweater on the Glass Bottom Boat Tour.  We plan to do it again!!!

We were up at 6am and gone from the trailer by 645 to drive to South Bay Mouth on Manitoulin Island to catch the Ferry over to Tobermory to spend the day.  The ferry ride is just under 2 hours and when we arrived we met up with Hubby's brother and family who were spending the weekend.  We hung out at their campground, had lunch and then headed back to the docks to get on a glass bottom boat tour.  It took 2 hours and we were able to see ship wrecks and toured around Flower Pot Island.  You can actually transfer off the Tour Boat onto a Zodiak and spend the day exploring the island or even camp there too!  After the tour was done, we found some supper, had some ice cream and explored some of the shops around the water front.  We caught the 8pm ferry back to South Bay Mouth and we were back at the trailer by 1130 that night.  It made for a very long day, but the kids and the dog were so well behaved and they slept the entire truck ride from the ferry back to camp.  What a great way to celebrate our 16th Wedding Anniversay!!!!

Making our way to the dock

Hubby and his nephew

Almost at the boat

On the boat...found the life boats!

Jo went and got coffee for hubby!

Flag on the back of the boat

Front of the boat

The dog was only allowed on one deck outside!  She traveled really well!

Lighthouse almost in Tobermory

Heading into the dock in Tobermory

In South Bay Mouth, the cars drive into the back of the ferry and in Tobermory they exit through the front

The Ferry

The boat we took our tour on

One of the ship wrecks

The other shipwreck

This Coast Guard Boat is designed to roll right over in the water!

I'd be nervous if I was the one in the kayaks!!!

Lighthouse on Flower Pot Island

One of the flower pots

Can you see the face of the old man watching over the lake?

Sunset heading back to South Bay Mouth

Almost ready to dock in South Bay Mouth

And the Winner is.....

Fiona!!!

I used the Random Number Generator but just can't get the code in right!

#33 was the comment that was chosen!!

Weekend update to follow later today!!!

Hooray for Canada and a Giveaway!

I had a comment from Chelsey @ Sowing Dandelion Seeds about my blog post on Depression and Parenting and came across The Great Canadian Blog Bash.  The idea is write a Canadian Themed Post and join the party over at Mom vs. The Boys

I'll start with a little bit about me.  My blog name is Annie (I'm kinda incognito) and have lived in Northern Ontario my entire life.  Tomorrow will mark our 16th wedding anniversary and we have one adorable and spoiled daughter who we call Jo.  I'm in my 40's and after almost having a breakdown last year I have returned to the life of a Stay at Home Mom and look after Hubby's books for his business.  I enjoy sewing, knitting, making jewelry, reading and Facebook among a whole bunch of other things too!

Where I live you can get to some pretty neat places in about a days drive.  Tomorrow we are taking the Chi-CheeMaun  Ferry from Manitoulin Island to Tobermory and while in Tobermory we plan to take a tour of shipwrecks in a Glass Bottom Boat on Lake Huron.  Manitoulin Island is the largest fresh water island in the world and we can get there in a little more than 2 hours!

If we were to drive south we would be about 5 hours from Niagara Falls, 4 hours from The CN Tower, a little less than 4 hours and we can be at Canada's Wonderland.  NHL Hockey and MLB Baseball games are close enough to make an overnight or weekend getaway.  My hometown is famous for The Big Nickel and we are the largest producer of Nickel in the World.

Here is some Canadian Humor for you!

      You might be Canadian if.........   

1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".
2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just
dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4. You drink Pop, not Soda.
5. You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"
6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for
your holidays, with good cigars.
7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical
group.
11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions
Canada.
12. You brag to Americans that; Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion &
Mike Myers are Canadians.
13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
14. You know what a toque is.
15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always
pronounced "Zed".
17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but
requires 6 pages for hockey.
18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still
winter, and road work.
19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".
22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in
Canada'.
23. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more
polite than, "Huh?"
25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward this link to all of your
Canadian friends!

 Now for the giveaway part!
We will celebrate Canada Day this Friday and no Canada Day Celebration is complete without some Beverages!  I am giving away 2 Gift Cards valued at $40.00
If you are in Ontario the 2 cards will be for The LCBO (The Liquor Control Board of Ontario) and for Tim Hortons.  If you are outside of Ontario the 2 cards will be for Canadian Tire and Tim Hortons.  Entry for this giveaway is really very simple.  Each of the options counts as an entry

• Follow my blog on Google Friend Connect 
• If you are already a follower leave me a comment telling me why you love Canada
• Check out my blog and leave a comment here telling me what you like about my blog

It's that simple!  The contest closes July 1st at 11:59pm EST and I will draw before Noon EST on July 4th and notify the winner.

Happy Canada Day to all and Good Luck with my very first giveaway!!!!

Ten on Tuesday

The topic for this week is10 Favorite Things About the Fourth of July

Here in Canada we don't celebrate the Fourth of July, we celebrate July 1st.  So here is my list!

1. Relax
2. Enjoy a beverage or 2
3. Enjoy some fireworks
4. Visits with family and friends
5. Swim
6. Camping
7. Curling up with a good book
8. Celebrating the day after our anniversary (Year 16 this year!)
9. Fishing
10. Reflecting on the fact that we live in one of the best countries in the world!

Enjoy your Holiday!!!

This is where to find me!!

Crate Training.......

Oh the woes of a new puppy!  She is pretty good for the most part and will stay in her crate during the day to sleep.  We've had a few accidents in the house, but for the most part I am able to get her outside and get her business done.  House training a puppy in the rain sucks but not as much as walking said puppy in the rain through every puddle at 11pm at night........
Good thing she's damn cute!!