I have a couple of ideas running through my head. They have been there for the last few days, I'm just not sure how to get them into words to write about them. One of the titles I thought of was "Am I Just too Sensitive?" I think sometimes I am.
Why do I think I'm too sensitive?? Here's a little background and some of the story.
Before hubby and I met, he was in a common law relationship that lasted 7 or 8 years. She wasn't very nice when they separated and he ended up losing his shirt while she walked away with everything she wanted. I met hubby just as their house was being sold and once that chapter was finished we started out own life together. Over the years, we have seen her and her hubby at various places, sat and had a drink with them and hubby even did a bunch of work for her when they added on to their home years ago. When hubby's niece was pregnant with her first child, I invited the his ex to the shower that I hosted here in my home. Regardless of what happened in the past, she is still thought of as an aunt to some of the kids in the family and I have no problem with that. There are divorced aunts and uncles in my family that are still considered family. Sometimes when hubby's brother and wife come to town they stay at her house. The fact that they stay there normally doesn't bother me except for this last visit. After our day in Tobermory we spent the weekend at camp and on Sunday we came home. Hubby's brother and wife had come here and off loaded their quad and had gone blueberry picking. When they got back here they proceeded to leave the quad here, charge the battery with our hydro and leave their gear in the garage and then left. Monday morning they arrive back here and get ready to take off to go berry picking again. They unplug the charger and leave it laying in the driveway, leave a patch of oil on the asphalt driveway and take off. Hubby comes home and is livid with the mess that was left here and wonders why they couldn't have left the mess at her place. His feelings are hurt which in turn bothers me. That night his brother shows up to get his truck and ramps and doesn't even come in to say hello to anyone. Hubby is feeling hurt again.
Tuesday night they stop in to say goodbye and I make a comment about the mess that was left and it gets laughed off. Hubby won't even tell his brother that he is pissed off. We say our good byes and they are gone.
I probably shouldn't let stuff like this bother me, but I do. When they said they were coming to visit I was told that they had made other arrangements to stay elsewhere. They couldn't even come right out and tell me where they were staying.
I wonder sometimes if not for my depression that these kinds of things would just roll of my back and not bother me. Then I think that maybe it really does bother me and the depression has nothing to do with it.
What do you think??? Am I too sensitive??
It seems a bit inconsiderate but family can be weird sometimes. I guess you have to take them as they are - up to a certain point.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why they would want to stay with an ex rather than with family, but on the bright side it's less work for you. And maybe that is their intention.
As for the mess - if it's a one-time thing - I'd give him the benefit of the doubt as an accidental oversight. Now you've called him on it maybe he'll be more careful next time.
Recently I accidentally left a mess from a hair treatment in the bathtub when I didn't notice it hadn't all drained out. I felt really hurt at how harse my housemate was to me over it though - because most of the time I am going out of my way to clean up after myself and others too. Now I feel I get no credit for the good I do and just get jumped all over the one time I make a mistake. I got called "too sensitive" for feeling that way, but dammit, I think I am right.
I would feel the same sister...so maybe I am not in a position to say, but no, I don't think you are being too sensitive. I think that they are behaving insensitively.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Just a Girl! That was not right and Hubby had ever right to be ticked as did you! Yes those things should not bother us, but we are human beings with feelings and emotions and none of that was right in my book. I often wonder if I am being too senstive, and then I say NO...if others are being jerks (ok too strong a word) then I have every right to be ticked and upset. I recently was told by my father I was too sensitive, when he was yelling at me about my sister... I finally said NO Dad, i have ever right to be upset and I am not the middle man in this, you tell my sister what you think and leave me out of it.
ReplyDeleteHunny...we have to stand up for ourselves