It has been a few months since I have sat down and actually blogged about anything. I have to apologize for that. There have been so many changes since I last blogged that I really don't know where to start.
When I started this blog and came up with the title I had a some idea where I wanted life to take me. I have started on that journey and will update all of the changes over the next little bit.
In my last post back in August I mentioned that I was returning to work. That has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made in a long time. I am working full time and loving every minute of it. I returned to an old employer and have settled back into selling furniture. I absolutely love it!! When I emailed my old boss and asked about returning he sent me a one word reply and that one word was "Absolutely". It has been awesome to work in a company where your work is rewarded with high fives when sales are good and you are given encouragement along the way. Looking back I have to wonder if I should have returned years ago instead of taking the office job that partially contributed to my depression worsening. Hindsight is 20/20 so they say.
During my stay on the Island this past summer I made many decisions. One was returning to work and the other was to end my marriage. We have had many issues in the past and I realized over the last year that when we were apart I was a much happier person. I don't know if I have ever mentioned that I am married to an alcoholic. Although he never misses a day of work and the bills are always paid he is an alcoholic just the same. I can live with a beer after work, but 48+ bottles of beer bought weekly just is too much. In August Jo was away for a few nights and we finally sat down and talked it out. I suppose I talked and he listened. He promised to quit drinking and so far he has, but it's too little too late. He has not had a drink that I'm aware of since August 29th. This is not the first time he has quit and he might really mean it this time, but I am done. I cannot live with the thought that he might start again. He does know that if he does start again that his access to Jo will be severely limited. We have come up with a joint custody agreement and that will be pulled from him if his sobriety doesn't last. He is a wonderful father and we both want what's best for Jo and in his words he said that he has already lost too much and will do everything he can to keep Jo. There of course is more to our separation than just the alcohol, but that is the main reason. I have stayed this long because of our child, but we are doing her no favors by staying together for no other reason than her.
It has taken me many years to find the courage to leave. We separated in 2000 and then we were just about to separate when we found out about Jo. I returned to work when she was 2 with the intention of leaving then, but didn't have the self confidence to go. Life was simper to stay, easier.... Self esteem and self confidence have become part of me and I'm on my way!
Life...It's a Work in Progress
Stay tuned....it's progressing!!!