Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dealing with the Break Up

It will soon be a year since we officially separated.  It seems that there are some people in my life that are dealing with this much better than others.  I have adjusted well as has Jo and things are working great with the "weekabout" arrangement that we have for custody.  Her dad and I are still very amicable and are able to work out any kinks that may arise during our respective weeks.  I know I am a much better parent than I was in the past.  We actually played hooky the other day.  She stayed home from school, I stayed home from work and we baked, tidied and we dropped the truck off for my chef (whole other blog post with pictures!) and took the city bus home.  She was absolutely thrilled!  She stood the entire ride.  Something they aren't allowed to do on the school bus.

So hard to believe that my baby is going to be 9! 

Now, as for my sleepless nights.  As I have mentioned before I was married to an alcoholic.  Some of my family has been less than supportive about the fact that I finally left the marriage.  He was never physically abusive, bills were always paid, he always went to work but playing second fiddle to a bottle of beer got really tired for me.  He was always a happy drinker, never got into fights, he just got loud and stupid.  He was always the fun drunk and never really got into much trouble.  What people didn't see was the embarrassment that I felt.  We would be having a conversation with people and I would be talking and he would interrupt.  He said inappropriate things to people, think he was being funny and wasn't.  Things that were said to me that not everybody heard.  I don't think Tuesday night is a reason to get drunk.  This isn't a frat party and we aren't 21 anymore.  The garage was the place to be and most days I dreaded him coming home and having a  beer in the garage because one beer always turned into more and as soon as some of the people in the neighborhood saw the garage open, it was like an open invitation to come and join him.   Supper would be ready and he wouldn't come into eat until he was done drinking.  He always said that a 50 cent hamburger would ruin and 50 dollar drunk.    When he arrived home from work he went to the garage first, got a beer and then came into the house.  If I didn't hear him pull in the driveway I might not even know that he was home. 

One of my siblings is very bitter and won't speak to me.  He hides behind his nasty comments on Facebook and take my calls or answer any text messages.  Exhubby has even tried to discuss it with him and he won't hear any of it.  It's really very sad.  I am happy and enjoying my life and for whatever reason he won't even try to listen to me.  We were very close at one time and it's killing me that he is being like this.  I even had a dream this morning about meeting up with him and trying to tell him my side of the story.  This has been keeping me awake at night and consuming my thoughts.  If anyone has any ideas on how to handle this....let me know!!!

Up next!  I just might do a picture post!!

1 comment:

  1. I'd like to chat. One day, on the phone, with you...ok?
    Nancy xo